Katherine Ann Olson was killed after answering an ad on Craigslist for a nanny position. I was the matron of honor for her parents' wedding so I knew Katherine since she was just a twinkle in her father's eyes. The trial for her killer took place these past two weeks, and I have been following it closely. Now that a guilty verdict has been reached, I feel some relief for my friends, but I mostly feel sad that it even happened.
My youngest son attends NDSU in Fargo. My husband has two brothers & families living there along with his 91-yr-old mother. The flooding situation has been distracting me from my school work as I check on what their status is. My husband's mother was evacuated to Fergus Falls so I visited her twice in her new location reassuring her that she would go back to Eventide soon. I made her a copy of a photo album so she could show the staff her family. She was only allowed to evacuate with her walker and three outfits. My son was been sandbagging every day; he will be glad to go school where it is mentally exhausting, but not physically exhausting. My husband's brothers are safe, but they did clean out their basements just in case.
I am talking about these distractions because, as teachers, we often hear excuses from our students on why they did not do their assignments or papers. Some of the excuses are certainly lame: my dog ate my paper, my grandma died, I forgot. Some of the excuses are more plausible: my computer crashed, my car was stuck in the snow, I was sick. But some of the excuses are serious: my father died (verified by student services), I was in the hospital, there was a fire in my parents' home. I do think, at times, the real world distracts us from our scholarly endeavors. It is difficult to concentrate when life intrudes so rudely with a murder trial and major flooding.
Since I know how these events has distracted me, I know that my students have difficult times as well. I want to be able to give them a break on turning in late work. Of course this puts pressure on me at the end of the semester to correct all the late work, but I guess I am too compassionate to be a hard-ass. I do not think I am gullible, but I am sympathetic. Or perhaps I am just a soft touch. So be it.
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You write about an important issue. I, too, have struggled with whether to accept student excuses or not. Invariably I do accept them because, like you, I am compassionate by nature; a soft-touch, if you will. In addition, I accept the fact that my class is not the most important thing in a student's life.
ReplyDeleteMy classes, no matter how important, have never been the top priority in my life. And unlike some professors, I don't believe they should be. Your family distractions have to be more important than class, and I believe this is so whether you want it to be or not. I don't think we can help thinking about friends and family who are in trouble and this is going to distract us from our work.
We just have to hope we can continue to manage, even though we may not be doing our "best."
I have a hard time with this as well. I never want to believe my students - I always believe that they are trying to pull a fast one on me. Then I do feel like a jerk.
ReplyDeleteAhh, I struggle with late work too. But I haven't typically been as compassionate. I try to keep a pretty tight line. I really hate when a kid comes back and says, "well, how come you let Randy turn his in but you didn't let me turn mine in?!" Then I have to justify why one students' excuse was more valid than the others. I try hard not to give students reasons to think that I play favorites.
ReplyDeleteHowever, there are definitely extenuating circumstances- I encourage my students to be proactive- I'm more willing to be flexible if it's mentioned ahead of time, "Mrs. Kulm, my family is living in Fargo, and we are trying to help them out, so I'm worried that I won't get that essay done on time." Students need to learn to advocate for themselves- it's a good life lesson too.
On a personal note- hang in there. You are balancing being a teacher, student, mom, wife, daughter-in-law, friend, etc.- it can be very tough to manage it all- and well- sometimes.
In response to Annan, I have had a tutorial student just last week ask to make up a tutorial because his friend in another class is able to with their tutor. Quite frankly, I don't mind doing the make-up work (or time) but he missed because of an appointment with a landlord. Forgive me, but can't that appointment be made outside of your scheduled, weekly, 10-week-long tutorial duration?!
ReplyDeleteAs to natural disasters, I do agree that there should be some leniency, but I don't know where to cross the line. Do you give until the next class day, which is only a few days away and not have that much impact anyway? Or do you give a week? Month? I don't know... I don't like to be a push-over, but I also know that if they don't do it in the end and it's too late to turn in, then they will automatically get a 0 instead of 80 (or whatever their work comes to).
There are a lot of classmates with families and children, myself being one, and we can all help support each other.